Super Quick Update

The surgery went really well. He looks so good, but is in a lot of pain. Please keep praying because they have a long road ahead of them. When he is ready they are moving him to rehab for three weeks. That means being in the hospital for at least a month if not longer. But he seems to be doing okay and so does mom.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers! Keep them coming! :)

Life can be impossible...

In the middle of everything I have noticed that life can be impossible and unfair.

My best friend has two kids, Katie is 10 and Caleb is 13. Caleb is currently in the hospital awaiting surgery on his spine on Monday. Caleb has a condition called Dystonia which affects his nervous system and he is unable to hold his head up without his hand and his posture has been severely affected. On Monday they are going to put rods in his back to give him some relief and hopefully straighten out his spine. The surgery will last 8-10 hours.

I find myself trying to figure out what I can do to help my friend and her son. Everything that I can think of doesn't seem like it is enough. Food, diversions for the hospital, and taking their laundry to do just doesn't seem like enough.

They have had to make lots of impossible choices and decisions. I pray that I can somehow be a help in this time of need, and that the Lord would make me a blessing their lives.

If you pray please pray for Caleb and Jeannie and pray hard. They both need it so.

All this time...

When I started working part-time I imagined myself with all this time in the afternoons and being able to keep up with everything. WELL...here I am six months into the part-time thing and I feel like I never get anything accomplished. I feel like I am running in circles most of the time. I haven't really figured out how to manage my time efficiently enough to get the things I want to done.

Then there is the depression...I realized the other day that I was very depressed. Where did that come from? Why hadn't I realized before that I wasn't doing well? Why can't I just be normal and keep it together?

So here is what I have decided for today...are you ready?

Today I am going to do one thing...just one thing not a lot of things. I am not going to go crazy. I decided I would leave school when the kids were gone and go grocery shopping. After grocery shopping I went to put the food away and decided that maybe I needed to one more thing...clean out the fridge...then the pantry...

So now I have done three things and I want to do more in a crazed manic cleaning spree...BUT...One thing right...one thing for today...

Just when I think...

Just when I think that I can't see God anywhere in my life, He shows up and lets me know he is still there and cares about me.

I have been feeling so far away from God lately. I know that this is not His fault, but my own. I know if He is far away I have moved, not Him. Sometimes knowing this does not help you feel any closer though. Has anyone else ever been there?

Tuesday morning I was lying in bed trying to make myself get out of bed. It was hard because I was snuggled up all warm and cozy next to my husband who was snoring away. I didn't want to get out of bed at 5am I just wanted to lay there and drift in and out of consciousness.

All of the sudden a head peaked over the side of the bed at me and said...

"Mommy, can I get in bed with you?"

Well the rule is after 5am they can get in bed with us, so looking at the clock and knowing it was nearing 5:30 I told him yes he could get in bed with me.

Ben snuggled up next to me and I continued to drift with him there beside me. All of a sudden he grabbed my face and said the following:

"Mommy, you remember when you prayed for me to have better behavior yesterday?"

"Yes."

"Well, I know why it didn't work."

"Really, why?"

"Because I am in control of me not God."

My heart completely melted.

"Yes, son that is true. But God is there to help you, lift you up, and encourage you to do the right thing if you listen with your heart."

"Oh, I didn't know that. I thought He was going to keep me quiet."

I laughed to myself at that mental picture. Because anyone who knows my son knows that God would actually have to gag him to keep him quiet.

But after my laugh I got up out of bed and went to do my devotional. I felt God's presence right there for the first time in months. He really was there. He was helping me, lifting me, and encouraging me to do the right thing. And maybe just maybe letting me know that the hard work I was doing with my children was making a difference.

Christmas Eve

We go to Grandma Cullum's on Christmas Eve. The kids were in heaven when they saw all the presents under the tree. We could barely keep them contained until after dinner. Here are some of the pictures from that night.

The tree before.

My beautiful Emily.

This kid never takes a straight picture anymore. This is the best shot I got of him out of like ten.

Sibling bliss?

Emily got her first Barbie this Christmas. We went from zero to eight in less than 24 hours. And I will tell you that they were all naked in less than two hours after she got them.

Barbie clothes? Seriously? Who needs those? And a Transformer for Ben.

Back at our house getting ready to open the traditional pajamas.

Princess pj's for her and Bakugan pj's for him.

Tired Mommy...what is missing is all the pictures of naked butts that were taken in between opening the pj's and getting them on. This is me just waiting for the kids to settle down and get dressed.

Winter wonderland. It was snowing like crazy while we put out the reindeer food, I am not sure any of it landed on the lawn for the reindeer.

Cookies, cocoa and a sweet note. Who could ask for anything more?

Santa please come see us soon! :)