Just when I think that I can't see God anywhere in my life, He shows up and lets me know he is still there and cares about me.
I have been feeling so far away from God lately. I know that this is not His fault, but my own. I know if He is far away I have moved, not Him. Sometimes knowing this does not help you feel any closer though. Has anyone else ever been there?
Tuesday morning I was lying in bed trying to make myself get out of bed. It was hard because I was snuggled up all warm and cozy next to my husband who was snoring away. I didn't want to get out of bed at 5am I just wanted to lay there and drift in and out of consciousness.
All of the sudden a head peaked over the side of the bed at me and said...
"Mommy, can I get in bed with you?"
Well the rule is after 5am they can get in bed with us, so looking at the clock and knowing it was nearing 5:30 I told him yes he could get in bed with me.
Ben snuggled up next to me and I continued to drift with him there beside me. All of a sudden he grabbed my face and said the following:
"Mommy, you remember when you prayed for me to have better behavior yesterday?"
"Well, I know why it didn't work."
"Because I am in control of me not God."
My heart completely melted.
"Yes, son that is true. But God is there to help you, lift you up, and encourage you to do the right thing if you listen with your heart."
"Oh, I didn't know that. I thought He was going to keep me quiet."
I laughed to myself at that mental picture. Because anyone who knows my son knows that God would actually have to gag him to keep him quiet.
But after my laugh I got up out of bed and went to do my devotional. I felt God's presence right there for the first time in months. He really was there. He was helping me, lifting me, and encouraging me to do the right thing. And maybe just maybe letting me know that the hard work I was doing with my children was making a difference.