So tonight I sit here alone in my house. I sit here watching movies and eating things I shouldn't that I will regret in the very near future, and doing the laundry. I am alone because Chris is out of town and the kids are at his mom's for the weekend. I am doing laundry because I take care of six people. I have been wondering lately who I am. Do you ever wonder who you are? Am I really the only one?
Well I don't think I have figured it out yet, not really. However, I think I am getting closer everyday. Almost my entire life has been spent pleasing other people. This is ultimately no one's fault, but it just is. I have realized lately that this alone does not make me happy. Because I never find the time to please myself. I don't know who I am because I don't know what I really want. And I feel like I owe it to the people around me to be happy.
Do I really want to please other people over myself? What defines me? Who am I? Where have I gone?
All these questions swirl around my head and start to define me. I find that I am unhappy because I am asking so many questions of myself all the time. Could it be that I am the person that takes care of people? Is that who I am? Is that okay?
What I think I realize tonight is that I am the person that takes care of everyone else. But here is the kicker, who takes care of me? How do I do both? How do I enjoy taking care of others, and still find time to take care of myself?