Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Focusing on the future...

This afternoon I find myself focusing on the future. For once I am not lingering in the past. I am actually indulging in the present.

Monday was pretty uneventful really. I went to work then up to see Jeannie and Caleb. Tuesday, oh yeah, that was JUST yesterday I thought started like any other day. I went to work excited to do some more work with my kiddos on rocks. They have loved the unit and I was excited. Well, we had a guest in our room so we didn't really get to do much with rocks. I was kind of bummed. Then at the end of the day I was called into the director's office and asked to resign. Yes, it's true. And it is because I was sick.

It all goes back to the two weeks before Christmas this year. I had a stomach virus and I was pretty sure that I had had a miscarriage. I went to see the doctor and she was concerned and did some tests and they showed a reason to test me for cervical cancer. I never posted about this because it was all just too fresh and I really didn't want too many people to know. ANYWAY...I called work and told them what was going on and they TOLD me to take time off. Every day I talked to them and told them I wanted to come to work. I needed to get out of the house. I was just sitting around waiting for the test results to come back. It was a very emotionally exhausting time for me. I really needed something to occupy my time and mind and work would have been the perfect thing. BUT...I was not allowed to be there.

I was home for two weeks and the test came back negative, and I got a second opinion and found out it was just a very bad infection.

So now I am unemployed because of something they told me to do. Parents became unhappy because I was not there, which is understandable, but I wanted to be there. Yesterday I lost my job.

Today I went in to tell the kids goodbye. I totally lost it. I love each and every one of them so much. They all wanted to tell me about their lives since the last time we were together and I wanted to hear it. I stayed for about 20 minutes and then left. I am very sad about how everything has happened, but there is nothing I can do to change it. I don't think it is the best thing for the kids, but again it is not something I can change.

So now I am focusing on the future. What does the future hold for me and my family? How will this change things for us, and how will they change for the better? I am not lingering in the past. I did nothing wrong. I taught the kids and did the very best job possible. I loved them and their families with all my heart. I have decided that for ONCE I AM NOT GOING TO BEAT MYSELF UP! I am not going to waste my energy focusing on what if's and should haves. I am not angry about what happened, I am just sad that it happened. AND right now I am indulging in thoughts of how good the present really is.

8 comments:

K, L and M said...

hold your head up!!>:) sending lots of xoxox's to you!

Siri said...

I can't beilieve you lost your job over a sickness. That would never happen here in Sweden. What were they afraid of? That you'd spread it amongst the kids? Or that you'd be too sick to work and just cost money? Please help me understand.

And I think its great that you can think optimistically about the future, be proud of yourself for that quality.

, Siri.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Hugs!!!

I would seriously consider getting a lawyer though, or at least talking to one. It sounds like you have a good case.

Door closed. Now go look for that window honey!!!

Kat said...

I can't believe that happened to you! I'd take it to the labour board... I know here they cannot let you go for illness.
But, just keep on being positive. Maybe this is for the best anyway and you'll get something even better. :)

Cullum Family said...

thanks for the support you guys! it really does help! :)

Nicole said...

For the record, you can completely sue. What they did was not lawful.

On the other hand - do you want to work at a place that does such things?

PS - I did go thru the cervical cancer thing. It is scary. I am sorry you had to wait so long for your results.
This is me:
http://nicoleabdou-destinationunknown.blogspot.com/

eleventhirtysix images said...

This just pains my heart in so many ways, Melissa. :( I'm so sorry.

wilderlamb said...

Melissa! I am so sorry about all of this. I had no idea. I wish we had talked a few weeks ago when we tried to get together. I hope you are doing better!