I was driving to work today, rested and late. Our very dear friends, Cher and Ed, decided that we needed a break so the kids went over to play last night. As soon as we got there Cadence and Ben decided that it was a good idea to have a sleep over. Cher was okay with it, and it meant that I could actually get some sleep so I was okay with it. Apparently not a lot of sleeping went on in their house last night, though. I slept until I woke up and took my time getting ready, responding to email before I left for work. So I am finally a little more rested, less overwhelmed, and more open to the things around me.
So as I was driving I had Third Day playing very loudly. My friend, Nicole gave me the CD so when I reference the song I will not be able to tell you what the title is. But...there is a song on the CD about how Peter probably felt when he denied knowing Jesus three times. I was very moved by this song. It talks about how Peter can't live with the shame of leaving Jesus alone to die on the cross.
I started thinking about this story. It occurred to me that I have left Jesus alone to die on the cross. Every time I have denied Him I have left Him there alone. And thinking back on my life I have denied Him too many times to count.
Then it occurred to me in the very next thought that maybe that is why the story is included for us to read. If Peter who walked with Jesus, sat next to Jesus, prayed with Jesus, and learned from Jesus could deny Him it is not so surprising that we would also deny Him. I believe Peter really did love Jesus, I mean who couldn't love Him? There really is no guilt or condemnation. This is what means to be free. Even when we deny Him, He takes our shame and lets us know He still loves us, always has and always will.
Thank you, Lord. This is what I needed this week. I was so low and I left you there alone on the cross. Thank you for reminding me how much You love me even in the midst of the messiness of the world.